姜安念 | Annette Chiang Anderson-文 / 陳美麗-譯
在美國長大的第二代
我們每個人的成長過程都有不同的經歷，但也有一些共通點。 你們許多人都尋找門路移民來美國，因為這裡充滿機會的地方、可以有高等教育，以及政治表達等的自由。經歷許多挑戰與掙扎，你們為自己的成就感到驕傲，尤其是因為你們的目標與夢想不僅是為了自己，而也是為了下一代。
你們大多數人都結婚生子，有些孩子可能出生在台灣，但在年紀很小時就被帶到美國;其餘則出生於美國。 你可能覺得他們的掙扎沒有你所經歷的那麼艱難，所以你可能不明白他們為什麼會感到如此壓力 — 如此有壓力。 教育應該會比較容易，因為他們英文說得很好。 交朋友應該比較容易，因為社區裡充滿了孩子。一切都應該會變得更簡單 – 畢竟這正是你為他們設想的樣子。
在一個完美的世界裡，我們應該會比較輕鬆。 但就像你們一樣，我們夾在兩個世界之間- 中國文化與西方文化。 但與你不同的是，我們面對的是不同的壓力、不同的歧視，以及對自我認同的不同感受。
我是一位美國出生的台灣女性，出生於1960年代中期。 我已經讀過多年中文學校，但只能理解小學程度。 我上大學時拿到的不是工程或醫學學位，而是不錯的文理學學位。 我是民主黨人， 我和一位白人男性幸福地結婚，並且有兩個「混血」的孩子。 我相信我父母在我出生時對我的想像是不同的。 但最終，我對自己的選擇感到滿意，幸運的是，我的父母也支持我。 同時也要強調，我對自己的身體感到自在，並且作為成年人擁抱自己的血統，並會將這份傳承傳給我的孩子們。
融入
在1970和80年代上學時，亞洲孩子只想融入。 我們想要拋棄與同學不同於我們的一切。 對我來說，是我斜眼、扁平的鼻樑、膚色，以及我極度害羞。 我認為，暗地裡，亞洲父母也希望同樣的事 － 他們希望孩子能融入社會。 以至於父母有時陷入兩難的抉擇：是把孩子想融入的需求，還是自己強調血統的願望。 雖然他們也希望孩子能接受中國文化，但不希望孩子面對他們曾經經歷過的同樣障礙。 他們希望孩子擁有完美的英語，這樣就不會被取笑。 他們希望自己的孩子能長高，像其他孩子一樣。
在我年幼的某個時候，父母開始在家用英語與我說話，而非台語。 我一直以為這是為了確保我在學校有良好的英語基礎 －這樣我才能融入。最終，我幾乎失去了所有台語知識。 我爸媽直到我大約十歲才送我去中文學校，比班上其他孩子大大約五歲。 我過得非常艱難，感到尷尬，也沒有學習的慾望。 我不想和朋友們不同， 我不需要學說，也能和父母溝通 –他們會說英文！ 我為什麼要學中文？ 我一直覺得很諷刺，父母在家裡講台語，但我却該學中文。我沒有理由繼續這樣做，所以就沒繼續。 我會希望當時學會嗎？ 是的。 但沒有增援，也沒有人可以交談，這件事不可能發生。
當我父母的朋友用台語跟我說話時，我很尷尬地說我聽不懂他們在說什麼。 我感受到父母和他們朋友的失望。 這是我認為的反向歧視。雖然我一生只去過台灣三次，但大家都期待我會說台語或普通話。 我同意如果我能說也不錯，但我沒有。 當中國人跟我丈夫說話時，他是白人，他們不會以為他只會說英語。 但那個人總是會先用中文跟我說話。 我感到羞愧，他們也為我感到羞愧。
獨立
上大學後，給了我們獨立和選擇。 現在我們不再只是做父母想讓我們做的事，而是想做什麼就做什麼。 這並不總是壞事！ 我決定再試一次中文 － 因為這次，我不是為了取悅父母而來。 我甚至在第一年加入了中國學生會，想讓我回到童年時曾經排斥的文化。 我申請參加「愛之船」（一個廣為人知的留學台灣之旅），沒有父母的壓力。 這一切都是因為，這次，是為了我自己。
大學時也是思念父母和那些理所當然事物的好機會。 你有沒有注意到他們回家時想要「真正的」中餐食物？ 傳統很重要，這正是我們帶著前行的文化的一部分，無論我們是否意識到。
機會
美國的機會非常多，台灣家長希望孩子能充分利用這些機會。掌握學業還不夠，但要找到時間讀書真的很難。一天的每一分鐘都充滿了各種活動，我們不僅要在學校修習先修課程和資優課程，我們還要 參加音樂課、參加課後活動，並參加運動。除此之外，我們還要去中文學校。 我不後悔被「強迫」做的事，但壓力很大，也很耗時。 如果我只需要讀書，我大概也能拿到全優，但我也得學會管理時間。 如今，正如我父母所證明的，我是個很棒的時間管理者！
約會/婚姻
我爸媽在我和哥哥還沒真正交往時就跟我們談過。 我們被告知，最好是和有相同血統的人約會並結婚。 名單從台灣人開始，接著是中國人，最後是亞洲人。 我們從未被禁止與非裔美國人或白人約會，但大家都明白他們的偏好。 也許你也有同感。
首先，如果你希望你的孩子和有相同血統的人約會或結婚，你可能會驚訝地發現，他們最有共同點的人其實是美國人。 我這一代甚至更年輕的許多人，在美國長大，先是美國人，才是台灣人。 我們可能和同學（不論他們的血統）比和父母更有共同興趣。 我們在學校學的東西一樣，說同樣的語言，接觸到同樣的流行文化（音樂、電視等）。
人們選擇約會對象的最大原因是：地理位置。 如果你住在一個90%是白人居住的城市，你的孩子很可能會和白人約會。 我許多東岸朋友是混血婚姻，而我加州的許多朋友則嫁給亞洲人。 為什麼？ 簡單來說，亞洲人越多，約會亞洲人的機會就越大。
我丈夫對亞洲血統的理解和我一樣深刻。 他學到的大部分內容都是我父母給的，但令人驚訝的是，也有一些是我自己學來的。 就在我覺得自己對中國背景幾乎一無所知時，嘴裡突然冒出關於台灣和文化的知識。 所以，即使我爸媽覺得我沒在聽，我還是有在聽。
如果你的孩子正在與不同種族、宗教或文化的人交往，請相信你教過他/她知道如何選擇對他們來說正確的事。 以我的經驗來說，我不會和一個對我的血統或家庭感到不舒服的人交往。 寬容與接納是雙向的。
下一代
至於下一代（你的子女），我看到文化多樣性和接受度會更高。 與20至30年前相比，現在如果你稍微不同或獨特，這被視為一種正面特質。 小學正在進行語言沉浸式課程。 餐廳和市場服務城市中新興的各種族群。 我們越來越接受彼此的差異。
我會送孩子去中文學校、課後活動和充實課程。 我會在春節帶點心去學校，讓他們穿紅色衣服。 所以我發現，在某些方面，我和我的父母其實沒什麼不同。 我可能會給孩子們太大壓力。 但我長大得還不錯，我相信他們也會。
我們這一代或許沒有你對台灣這個摯愛國家的所有知識與興趣。 它可能被西方文化的混合稀釋了。但你們的指引和話語我們並未忘記。 我們或許認為自己是美國人，但我們永遠在心中珍惜祖先的土地，珍惜我們臉龐中亞洲的特徵，並尊重來自台灣的傳統。
或許更好的方式是看待我們這些在美國成長的人的角色，是我們如何為美國社會的文化多樣性做出貢獻。 多元性在我們學習和諧共處、共事時，挑戰著我們的智慧與情感。 了解不同文化特質，使人們更容易辨識他人的創意表達方式。 增加文化多樣性可以消除一些關於各種文化和族群的常見迷思與刻板印象。重要的是，差異不應被忽視或邊緣化，而是要被探索、討論並被讚頌。 我們持續透過外貌、行為及傳統，提升對台灣文化的認識。
你們這一代
正如我在這篇文章中反思我的台裔美國人血統、成就、父母的影響，以及我自己對孩子們的影響，你們這一代人也應該如此。 你的父母在哪些方面鼓勵你成為最好的自己？ 你覺得前往美國的旅程對你和你的家人來說是正確的選擇嗎？ 你有沒有讓孩子明白台灣對你的重要性？
你應該回顧自己的人生，為自己所取得的成就感到驕傲; 是因為你努力學習以取得高水準的大學學位，因為你曾在政府、大學、研究機構或企業擔任重要職務; 因為你們的婚姻已經挺過了這場掙扎; 因為你一開始口袋空空，最後在這裡過上了不錯的生活; 或者只是因為你有勇氣來到新世界，為家人紮根。 最重要的是，您是賦予台灣非凡名字的人之一。 文化的聲譽源自像你這樣的移民。 美國人對我們這些台灣後裔期望很高，因為我們為自己樹立了很高的標準。
你的孩子和未來世代將從了解你對祖先的經歷和回憶中受益。 除非你分享，否則他們無法知道你的決心、感受或掙扎。 把這些資訊寫下來，留給未來世代 －開始寫日記、做家譜，和孫子孫女坐下來，告訴他們你童年的故事。 向你的孩子和你的子孫後代灌輸他們為何來到美國，以及為何應該為自己的台灣血統感到驕傲，永遠不嫌晚。
(原文刊於2004 NATWA誼通訊)
<2026-08-24>
The “Second Generation “Bing Brought Up in U.S.
All of us have different experiences growing up, but with some commonality. Many of you are immigrants who found your way to America because it was a place of opportunity, for higher education, and a place with freedoms such as political expression. Through many challenges and struggles, you take pride in your accomplishments, especially because your goals and dreams were not only for yourselves, but also for the next generation.
Most of you married and had children, some of which might have been born in Taiwan but brought over to the United States while still very young; the rest born in the United States. You may think their struggles are not nearly as hard as what you endured, so you may not understand why they feel so stressed….so pressured. Education should be easier because they speak English very well. Making friends should be easier because the neighborhood is full of children. Everything should be easier – after all, that is what you envisioned for them.
In a perfect world, we should have had it easier. And like you, we are caught between two worlds – a Chinese culture and a Western culture. But unlike you, we faced different pressures, different discrimination and different feelings about who we are.
I am an American-born Taiwanese woman, born in the mid-1960s. I have been through years and years of Mandarin school, but can only understand it on an elementary level. I went to college and received not an engineering degree or a medical degree, but a nice liberal arts degree. I’m a Democrat. I’m happily married to a Caucasian man and have two “mixed” children. I’m sure my parents had a different picture in mind for me when I was born. But in the end, I am happy with the choices I made, and, lucky for me, my parents are supportive of me. It is also important to note that I’m comfortable in my skin, and I embrace my heritage as an adult and will pass it on to my children.
FITTING IN
Going to school in the 1970s and 80s, Asian children just wanted to fit in. We wanted to discard whatever was different about us from our classmates. For me, it was my slant eyes, the flattened bridge of my nose, the color of my skin, and my extreme shyness. I think, secretly, Asian parents want the same thing – they want their children to assimilate. So much so that parents are sometimes caught in a difficult dichotomy of whether to put their child’s need to fit in over their own desire to emphasize their heritage. Though they also want their children to embrace the Chinese culture, they don’t want their children to face the same obstacles they had to endure. They want their children to have perfect English, so they won’t be teased. They hope their children will grow tall so that they can be like other children.
At some point in my early years, my parents began speaking to me in English at home rather than in Taiwanese. I always assumed this was to ensure I had a good English-base in school – so I would fit in. Eventually, I lost almost all of my knowledge of Taiwanese. My parents didn’t send me to Mandarin school until I was around ten years old, about five years older than all the other kids in the class. I had a very difficult time, I was embarrassed, and I had no desire to learn. I didn’t want to be different from my friends. I didn’t need to learn to speak it to communicate with my parents….they spoke English! Why did I have to learn Chinese? I always thought it was ironic that my parents spoke in Taiwanese at home, but I was supposed to be learning Mandarin. I had no reason to keep it up, so I didn’t. Do I wish I learned it then? Yes. But with no reinforcement and no one to converse with, it wasn’t going to happen.
When friends of my parents would talk to me in Taiwanese, I was embarrassed to say that I didn’t understand what they were saying. I sensed the disappointment in my parents and also from their friends. This is one thing that I find to be reverse discrimination. Even though I’ve only been to Taiwan three times in my life, I am expected to speak Taiwanese or Mandarin. I agree that it would be nice if I did, but I don’t. When a Chinese person speaks to my husband, who is Caucasian, they don’t assume he speaks anything but English. But that same person will always try to speak to me in Chinese first. I felt ashamed, and they felt shame for me.
INDEPENDENCE
College gives us independence and choice. Instead of doing what the parents want us to do, now we can do what we want. This is not always a bad thing! I decided that I was going to give Chinese language another try – because this time, I was not there to please my parents. I even joined the Chinese Student Association my first year to bring me back to the culture I once shunned as a child. I applied to go on the “Love Boat” (a widely known study abroad trip to Taiwan) without the pressure of my parents. All because, this time, it was for me.
College is also a good opportunity for Taiwanese college students to miss their parents and the things they take for granted. Do you ever notice that they want “real” Chinese food when they go home? Traditions are important, and it is that part of the culture that we carry forward with us, whether we realize it or not.
OPPORTUNITIES
Opportunities are abundant in America, and Taiwanese parents want their children to take full advantage of all of them. Mastering schoolwork was not enough, but finding time to study was tough. Every minute of the day was filled with activities. Not only were we to take Advance Placement and Gifted and Talented classes in school, we were also to take music lessons, be in after-school extracurricular activities, and play a sport. On top of all this, we were supposed to go to Chinese school. I don’t regret anything I was “forced” to do, but it was a lot of pressure and time consuming. I probably could have gotten straight A’s if all I had to do was study, but I had to learn to manage my time, too. Today, as my parents can attest, I am a great time manager!
DATING/MARRIAGE
My parents talked to my brother and me before we were really of dating age. We were told that it would be preferable for us to date and marry someone of the same heritage. The list started with someone Taiwanese, then someone Chinese, then someone Asian in general. We were never forbidden to date someone African American or Caucasian, but it was understood what their preference was. Perhaps you feel this way, too.
First of all, if you want your child to date/marry someone that shares the same heritage, you might be surprised to find out that the person they have the most in common with is American. Many of my generation and younger who grew up in the United States are American before they are Taiwanese. We probably share more interests with our schoolmates (no matter what their heritage is) than with our parents. We were taught the same things in school, we speak the same language, and exposed to the same popular culture (music, TV, etc.).
The biggest reason people pick who they date is: geographic location. If you live in a city of 90 percent Caucasians, the odds are great that your child will end up dating a Caucasian. Many of my East coast friends have mixed marriages, while many of my California friends married Asian. Why? Simply, a bigger pool of Asian people yields a greater chance of dating someone Asian.
My husband has as good an understanding as I do about Asian heritage. Most of what he learned came from my parents, but surprisingly, some of it came from me. Just when I feel like I know virtually nothing about my own Chinese background, out of my mouth pops out knowledge of Taiwan and culture. So, I really was listening, even when my parents thought I wasn’t.
If your child is dating someone of another race, religion or culture, have faith that you taught him/her to know how to choose what is right for them. From my experience, I would not have dated someone who was not comfortable with my heritage or my family. Tolerance and acceptance goes both ways.
THE NEXT, NEXT GENERATION
As for the next generation (your children’s children), I see a greater rise in cultural diversity and acceptance of it. In contrast to 20-30 years ago, it is now considered a positive trait if you are a little different or unique. Elementary schools are doing language immersion programs. Restaurants and markets cater to the different ethnicities emerging in cities. More and more, we embrace our differences.
I send my children to Chinese school, after-school activities and enrichment classes. I bring treats to school for Chinese New Year and have them wear red. So I find that, in some respects, I am no different from my parents after all. I will probably put too much pressure on my children. But I grew up okay, and I’m sure they will, too.
My generation may not have all the knowledge and interest you have of the beloved country of Taiwan. It may have been diluted with the mix of Western culture. But your guidance and words have not been lost on us. We may consider ourselves American, but we will always hold a special place in our hearts for the land of our ancestors, an appreciation for the Asian characteristics of our faces, and respect for traditions that came from Taiwan.
Probably a better way to view the roles of those of us brought up in the United States is how we contribute to the cultural diversity of the American society. Diversity challenges our intellect and emotions as we learn to work and live together in harmony. Knowledge of different cultural qualities makes it easier to recognize the creative ways that others express themselves. Increasing cultural diversity can dispel some common myths and stereotypes about various cultural and ethnic groups. It is important that differences are not overlooked or marginalized, but are explored, discussed, and celebrated. We continue to bring awareness of Taiwan culture in the way we look, act and the traditions we bring forth.
YOUR GENERATION
Just as I reflect in this article upon my Taiwanese-American heritage, my accomplishments, my parents’ influence and my own influence upon my children, so should the people of your generation. In what ways did your parents encourage you to be the best you could be? Do you feel the journey to America was the right choice for you and your family? Have you provided your children with understanding of the importance of Taiwan to you?
You should look back at your life and be proud of what you have accomplished — whether it is because you studied hard to earn a high level college degree; because you held important positions in government, universities, research institutions, or companies; because your marriage has survived the struggle; because you started with empty pockets and eventually made a nice life here; or just because you had the bravery to come to a new world and put down roots for your family. Most of all, you are one of the people that give Taiwan an exceptional name. The reputation of a culture stems from immigrants like you. Americans expect much from those of us who descend from Taiwan because we set a high standard for ourselves.
Your children and future generations would benefit from knowing about your experiences and recollections of your ancestors. They cannot know your determination, your feelings, or your struggles, unless you share it. Write down this information for future generations – start a journal, make a family tree, sit down with your grandchildren and tell them the stories from your childhood. It is never too late to impress upon your children and your children’s children about why they are in America and why they should be proud of their Taiwanese heritage.
Article share from NATWA 2004 Yearbook (聯誼通訊)
<2026-08-24>