心淨的力量

林榮峰 | Emily Lee

1981 年從台灣回來後，我無時無刻不記得兩年前與上帝的約定：我要與先生一起努力，過一個感恩並服事上帝的人生。我開始裝備自己，期盼成為合用的器皿。第一件事就是讓教會充滿正能量，於是接下編輯刊物的工作，給弟兄姊妹一個抒發負面情緒、靈性成長、彼此交流的園地，也幫助大家慢慢朝合一的方向前進。十個月後，新牧師來到教會，我便欣然交棒。

我常提醒自己：「若我是一支鉛筆，就要時時保持尖銳，放在筆筒裡，等候主人使用。」這句話鞭策我，無論何時何地都要預備好。

就在此時，二姐希望我幫忙買下一家即將關門的禮品店，條件是投資 8,300 美元並每週去店裡兩天。我想，二姐是為了安頓姐夫新移民的兄長，或許想建立禮品店的連鎖？我願意幫忙，於是立刻答應。但心中仍問上帝：「這是祢的安排嗎？」

或許，上帝要訓練我在人前敢於開口說話。我看到伯媽-台灣來不久，二姐的大嫂在店裡和客人談笑自若，甚至比我這個留學生更自在。是的，傳福音需要這樣的特質，我要努力學習。先生也想出辦法，出錢請伯媽的兒子課後來幫忙，陪我一同適應。慢慢地，我也走過了那段不安。

隔壁有家設計器材店，我很喜歡他們的服務，也想到剛搬到加州、念設計的小弟，也許接手這店很合適。於是我常找機會和店家聊天。沒想到不久後，二姐告訴我，她已經和小弟談好，讓他來接手我們的店。我聽了也很高興：我原本就只是想幫助二姐一家，如今能成全小弟，一舉兩得。更重要的是，我終於不必再去店裡看店了！

然而，因著單純和信任，當初簽約時，二姐因課程無法參加，只留下我一人簽署文件。我毫無疑慮，卻成了唯一法人，埋下了日後問題。當時只覺得「交出去就好了」，不曾想過法律責任。

果然，幾年後 IRS 發通知，要我們帶著資料去稅務調查。我茫然無措，找小弟要資料，他卻很不高興，也什麼都不給。我空手而回，只能把一切交託給主。先生如實向 IRS 人員說明：因為太太愛家人，所以才會陷入今日的困境。審查員聽完後反而笑了，說：「你是老實人。我懂了，以後要提醒太太小心。」這才算化險為夷。

這些年，小弟在紐約成家立業，我常為他們禱告，希望生意能穩定，能在主日休息，全家一起來做禮拜。媽媽也常來紐約探望小弟，這段時光讓我們很快樂。直到有一天，媽媽說店要賣掉，要搬去加州和大哥住近一點。我勸媽媽留下來，好能繼續參與教會，但媽媽笑著說：「去加州也會找教會。」雖然起初還有，但後來逐漸淡了。我只能繼續為小弟一家祈禱。

去年，大哥忽然在電話中告訴我：「其實他們一直都在氣妳，覺得來紐約是被妳騙的。」我聽了震驚又心痛。我對小我八歲的小弟向來疼愛有加，視若己出，怎麼會害他？恨人三十幾年，多麼痛苦，何其可憐。我只能帶到主前，求祂赦免。當初我不該輕率簽下文件，卻還自以為是在成全家人。

人生只能往前走。心若能保持單純與清淨，靈魂才能自由。一路上不斷伸出橄欖枝，有人接住了，有人拒絕了，但仍要堅持「心淨」。

畫中的這幅畫，是兒子在渡假屋的一隅。他工作繁忙，身負重任，但總會找機會坐在這張椅子上，把心思收回當下，讓自己歸零。我將這幅畫掛在紐約的客廳，每當煩亂時看著它，總能感受到那股「寧靜」。以馬內利！

中文 | English

The Power of a Pure Heart

After returning from Taiwan in 1981, I never forgot the covenant I had made with God two years earlier: to live a life of gratitude and service to Him together with my husband. I began preparing myself, hoping to become a useful vessel for His work. My first step was to help the church cultivate a spirit of positivity. I took on the task of editing a church publication, providing members with a space to express their struggles, grow spiritually, and strengthen communication—slowly moving toward unity. After ten months, when a new pastor arrived, I gladly passed the baton . I often reminded myself: “If I were a pencil, I must always stay sharpened in the holder, waiting for the Master to use me.” This thought kept me disciplined, always ready.

At that time, my second sister asked me to help purchase a gift shop that was about to close, with the condition that I invest $8,300 and work there two days a week. I thought she might be trying to help her husband’s newly immigrated elder brother, perhaps even planning a chain of stores. Out of love and willingness, I agreed without hesitation, though deep down I asked God, “Is this truly Your plan?” Perhaps He was training me to speak more freely with strangers. I often saw her sister-in -law newly immigrated chatting comfortably with customers—more at ease than I, despite my education abroad. Yes, sharing the Gospel requires this gift, and I needed to learn. My husband came up with a plan: he paid her son to help at the shop after school, keeping me company until I grew more confident. Gradually, I overcame my unease.

Next door was a design supply shop whose service I admired. It reminded me of my younger brother, newly married and living in California, who had studied design. I thought this might suit him well, so I often chatted with the owners. To my surprise, not long after, my sister told me she had already arranged for my younger brother to take over our store. I was delighted—my original intent was only to help her family, and now my brother could also benefit. Even better, I no longer had to run the shop myself!

Yet out of simplicity and trust, when the purchase contract was signed, my sister could not attend due to a class, leaving me to sign alone. Without hesitation, I became the sole legal owner—unknowingly planting seeds of future problems. I naïvely thought, “Once transferred, it’s no longer my concern,” never considering the legal consequences.

Sure enough, years later the IRS sent us a notice for a tax audit, requesting the store’s records. I was completely lost. When I asked my brother for the documents, he was displeased and refused to give me anything. I returned home empty-handed, with only prayer to sustain me, entrusting everything to the Lord. At the IRS office, my husband honestly explained: it was all because my wife loved her family that they had fallen into this situation. The agent listened, then smiled and said, “You are an honest man. I understand. Just remind your wife to be more careful next time.” With that, the matter was settled.

In those years, my younger brother settled in New York and started his family. I often prayed for them—that their business would thrive, and that they could keep Sundays free for worship. My mother also frequently visited them, which brought us joy. Then one day she announced that they would sell the shop and move to California to be closer to my eldest brother. I begged her to stay in New York, so they could remain active in church, but she reassured me, “We’ll find a church in California too.” At first, they did—but soon drifted away. I continued to pray for them earnestly. Last year , my eldest brother told me over the phone, “They’re still resentful toward you, believing they were tricked into coming to New York. “ I was stunned and deeply grieved. I had always cherished my younger brother, eight years my junior, almost like my own child. How could they think I had harmed him? To live with resentment for over thirty years—what suffering, what tragedy. All I could do was bring it before the Lord, asking for His forgiveness. I should never have signed that paper so hastily, all the while thinking I was doing good for my family.

Life can only move forward. If the heart remains pure and simple, the soul can stay free. Along the way, we keep extending olive branches—some are received, some are rejected—but still we must hold on to a pure heart. The painting shows a quiet corner of my son’s vacation home. Though burdened with many responsibilities, he always found time to sit in that chair, gathering his thoughts, returning himself to “zero”. I hung this painting in my New York living room. Whenever I feel troubled, gazing at it fills me with a deep sense of tranquility. Emmanuel!